3. Call of Nature to Dehydrated Food

Note:

To view this blog in chronological order click on the first item at the top of the blog archive on the right.

 Call of Nature/Cure for Loneliness

If you feel lonely and crave a little company, digging a hole with the ‘U Dig-It’, lowering the trousers and hunkering over it can be effective. Invariably a walking group will appear. Be prepared though - do not throw away this social opportunity by being confused. However much the urge is to the contrary, this is not the time to get to your feet. Nod up to them in an affable way and pass the time of day (do not strain while conversing). If the walkers are British you will not have to deal with the question, 'Having a shit?' because they're British. They will be happy instead to converse on some neutral topic.

However the company is not always what one would wish for. I was once importuned by a beggar in Morocco whilst hovering thus, and having reached a point of commitment, could not rise up and drive him off.

Craic

A term that is sometimes seen in accommodation advertisements, as in ‘good craic’. It means the place is run by a fat man with a beard who won’t shut up.

Crises

 A British walker knows how to behave in difficult situations. I can do no better here than to give you Mr Charles Dickens' account of a crisis which befell him on Carrock Fell in the Lake District:

'Mr Goodchild draws [the compass] tenderly from his pocket, and prepares to adjust it on a stone. Something falls on the turf -- it is the glass. Something else drops immediately after it -- it is the needle. The compass is broken, and the exploring party is lost! It is the practice of the English portion of the human race to receive all great disasters in dead silence. [My italics] Mr Goodchild restored the useless compass to his pocket without saying a word, Mr Idle looked at the landlord, and the landlord looked at Mr Idle ... the lost travelers moved forward, still walking round the slope ...'

This extract is from a fine essay of Mr Dickens' entitled 'Lazy Tour of Two Idle Apprentices', the ‘Idle Apprentices’ being himself and fellow novelist Wilkie Collins. It describes a hill walking expedition in the Lake District with full regard to the principle of Suffering (of which more later). It is a fitting complement to the more effulgent writings of William Wordsworth (poet, fell walker and twerp, 1780-1850).  

Dehydrated Food

Forty years ago mountain nourishment was revolutionised by the introduction of dehydrated meals especially made for the wayfarer: light to carry, easy to prepare and packed with energy-providing nourishment. 

Each meal came as a sachet  of powder. All one had to do was cut open the top of the sachet, pour in boiling water and wait. 

After a few minutes one had a nourishing meal of  wet powder, ready to eat. 







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Nowadays there’s a huge range of meals, hydrated and dehydrated, such as chilli, Irish stew, treacle sponge and custard, and so on...

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 ...limited only by the manufacturer's creativity.          

However, even now, things do sometimes go wrong …