Monday, 16 March 2015

7. Monuments



Monuments


As we walk our northern hills we cannot fail to be impressed by the monuments which grace many of our summits. Whether folly or memorial, they are the result of inspiration and great effort on the part of our forebears. Some are widely known and visited: Stoodley Pike for instance, above Mankinholes*, or the Wellington Monument and Crich Stand in Derbyshire.

Fig. 1
My pleasure though, is to seek out the lesser known ones, quietly awaiting us in less spectacular locations and often with endearing eccentricities all their own.

Just such a one is the modest yet finely executed monument atop Cackstone Nab in a quiet corner of Derbyshire. About twice life size, it depicts a workman, clad in the workman’s garments of a century ago (fig.1). Set on a shallow plinth it bears the touchingly simple legend, ‘Arnold Tweddle, Fettler’. The inarticulate decency of the piece demands our respect. Despite its modest size, it has been well positioned so that fine views of it are to be had from the southern and western approaches (figs 2,3) and it is well worth making a detour in your walk to take it in.
Fig. 2 View from the South

On asking locally I was unable to get information as to its origins and the significance of Tweddle. Sadly he has faded from memory. All the more important then that his monument remains, mutely insisting, ‘He lived. He fettled.’
Fig. 3 View from the West





There is a postscript. Earlier this year I was able to track down the person who is probably Tweddle’s last remaining descendant, Mrs Tracey Crippen of Cleethorpes. I visited her in her neat bungalow in a respectable street just off the seafront. She told me: ‘It were in t’road in t’garden.’

Fig. 4  Showing North  aspect



*Note: The small industrial town of Mankinholes was founded by the Victorian industrialist, Jedediah Knowles, always known, because of his imperfect personal hygiene, as ‘Manky’ Knowles.










Sunday, 1 March 2015

6. The Food Chain and Greetings


The Food Chain

Producer                             Herbivore                                      Carnivore

No serious expedition can consider itself properly prepared for emergencies until it has included a herbivore (vegetarian) among its number. The graphic above, which I am sure is familiar to most of you already, makes it clear why. But do remember, it is not a light thing to eat your vegetarian; it should only be resorted to in the most extreme situation.


Greetings


To greet or not to greet? You need to make a judgement based on who's involved and where you are:

Close to car parks and other public facilities: greeting is impractical here: there are too many people around, and they neither deserve nor expect acknowledgement, being, after all, mostly picnickers.

Look out though, for the couple with a child in a backpack. These are real mountain types, grounded the while by having recently received an infant. They can only dart out for a brief moment of low altitude pleasure until the child lustily complains, needs feeding or has a poo-plosion. See the longing in their eyes as you bound along, and give them a supportive smile.

Big groups - What does one do about big groups? One cannot greet each member - one would sound like a dementing police constable. The best plan is to greet the first few in a generalised sort of way and then adopt an amiable leer for the rest of them. This can be replaced by a look of humorous resignation on rainy days.

An individual hunkered down over a hole in the ground - avert the eyes and walk on. I don't want to talk to you.